She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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