Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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