Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
