I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
