dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
