Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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