I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
