i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
