i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I love having hate sex.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
