Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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