did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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