Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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