so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
