I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
