You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
