I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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