hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
