I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
