I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
