I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
