If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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