toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
