I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
