I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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