I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
