handjob tips. give me some.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
