ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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