Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
