please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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