If that was your dad, he is hot
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
