strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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