Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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