whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
