I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
