ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
