its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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