Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
