he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
