literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
They have beer where we have blood.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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