So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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