Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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