he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
