And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
