I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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