fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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