Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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