glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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