I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
