Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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