if you like me you must not know who I am
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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