I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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